Another eventful and interesting year in the books.
The TL;DR version:
- Quitting drinking was the best decision I've ever made and it's not even close.
- I've met a lot of great folks through simply getting out and riding my bike.
- Caroline and I bought the condo on the Hillsboro inlet. Mind pretty much blown
- I passed the CCIE route/switch lab (woohoo!)
- Professional life has been great.
- I'm really a very fortunate person and have so much to be grateful for
Let's unpack a couple of things and make a proper journal entry.
Quitting drinking and what it's meant - pretty much everything good in my life has come from the quit.
There was an incident I was thinking about recently. Caroline had left me, and I was happy that I was going to be able to go out and party without someone harassing me and asking me where I was. On the night in question I did some pre-gaming and drove the golf cart down to the corner. Walked up to the beach bar to meet up with my friends, and the off-duty cop working the door took one look at me and told me to beat it, and he better not see me getting behind the wheel. I thought I was mildly buzzed and couldn't understand his reaction. Having recently gone though a DUI (in which I wrecked Caroline's car BTW), I at least had the sense to keep my mouth shut and walk home, leaving the golf cart for later.
My sense of reality was so warped that pleasantly buzzed for me was piss drunk to someone else. At that point it had dawned on me that I was on borrowed time and that being able to go out and party was not something I could safely do any more. It was turning in to a game of I need to quit, but I want just one more. one more day, one more drink, one more cigarette.
I did quit obviously. A few months after the above incident I was at a house party and I put my red solo cup down and walked out, and that was it. Since then life has been on a steady upward trajectory. I don't take it for granted for a minute though.
I had my mind blown and expanded by the courage of others.
Last spring I had purchased a training package from a cycling studio. I would show up twice a week at 6am and get my ass kicked on a computrainer. Very effective! So much so I bought my own smart trainer. Anyway, those drives took a little bit time and I had some talks from Thanissaro Bhikkhu on a usb stick that I would listen to.
There was one talk in particular about dealing with pain and suffering that really resonated with me. Basically what it amounts to is everyone suffers deeply, everyone experiences pain and loss. One way to cope with it is to generalize. In other words, don't personalize it. "my pain", "my suffering". When they become possessions like that, when we make them touchstones of our identity and personal narrative, it leaves us prone be becoming isolated emotionally, and easily offended. "doesn't that person know what I've been through!", that sort of thing.
It was about this time that through riding my bike, I came in contact with people who've been through some very serious shit in their lives. I saw how great their suffering was, and yet they were these amazing and open and caring people. To see people suffer so deeply and to respond like that - it's as though this weight is lifted off of your shoulders. It's inspiring and amazing and it makes me yearn to be a better person. I could write page after page about these people. I'm so lucky to have met them.
The Condo - It's been a hell of a thing.
We did close on the Condo. We're still remodeling it. Is't turned into a much larger project than we had imagined. The building is 42 years old and the condo had never been updated. Also getting good help is tough (understatement of the year). He had to let the general contractor go, and getting a new one was not easy. No one wants to come in and sort out someone eles's mess. We're finally closing in though. :-)
Here's a panorama shot that shows why we fell in love with it.
Work has been good.
I work with some really great people who appreciate what I have to offer. Hard to believe sometimes. I was in a dysfunctional work situation for several years and that can make it hard to trust. It's nice to not feel like I've got to watch my back at all times. It's not an easy job and I wish I had some backup, but on the balance I don't have any serious complaints.
I passed the CCIE lab exam, now I'm going to go for an actual degree
Studying for the lab was a sacrifice. It was tough at times. But I did it, and I passed the exam. I'm going to do another one! Datacenter next. I'm also planning on enrolling in WGU, an online school, and getting a proper degree. Making study and learning part of my daily life seems to have been very good for me so it seems logical that I should continue.
The path forward in the coming year:
- Work hard
- Stay in shape mentally and physically
- Always be learning
- Be grateful for all the blessings in my life.
May you be happy and at ease.
-s
