I had in mind something a little more radical...

I want more life. 

So what the fuck does that mean exactly?

Does it mean less time spent working?  Does it mean more money?  Does it mean better health?  Does it mean a longer lifespan?  How do you quantify it?

Let me give a concrete example of what it isn't.  Is there a thing from the past, like someone cheating on you, or a bad accident, that when you start to think about it, your heart rate goes up, you feel anxious, and your mind begins to race?  Have you ever noticed that that thing, no matter how many times you turn it over in your mind, you never seem to get anywhere with it?  It's like a repeating loop of being pissed off about something and thinking about it never brings you any closer to resolution.

I bet there's lots and lots of those isn't there?  My head is full of them.

What is really living life then?  I think it's when your attention becomes fixated on your surroundings, your body, everything that actually exists, rather than memories of the past or projections of the future.  The more you find yourself doing that, the more life you claim for yourself.

Living like that does not come easy to me.  I have to pedal a bike for hours on end, or have perfect waves, or some other extraordinary external circumstance that breaks me out of the prison of all these reactive patterns that I constantly seem to be living out.  I think identifying negative patterns replacing them with positive ones is a pretty good start.  If you're going to live out a bunch of unconscious patterns, they might as well be healthy ones right?