Looking at the crest of the hill

Well, this last month has been like a country music song.

My dog Rell, my best friend, was struck and killed by a hit and run driver  She died in my arms.  I miss her.

Not too long after that I was surfing and suffered a neck stinger.  I felt it in my back but it turns out it's a neck thing.  I gutted it out and did a century ride on the bike I was planning and basically was bedridden for two weeks after that.  I'm recovering now, can sit upright, but it's still pretty tender and may take a while to heal.

Needless to say the big hero trip to Indonesia I was planning for May/June of this year is not happening.  I was pretty devastated at first.  I worked very hard to get to this point, and to fall short of the goal is a bitter pill to swallow.

My work situation is weird.  As I have gotten healthy mentally and physically I could see I was involved in a really unhealthy and dysfunctional situation, and trying to stay involved with it was a very bad idea.  fortunately someone has popped up to take my place and I don't feel the least bit regretful about moving on other than complications with making sure my brother lands on his feet, which I am actively working to address.

The good news is I am officially debt free.  Selling off all my extra crap and moving into a much humbler living situation has served me well and I was able to dig myself out quickly.  Great feeling.

I've also got my diet fully sorted.  I don't eat compulsively at all any more.  It's wonderful.  The blood sugar crazy train is a thing of the past.

I have hacked away all the withered old growth, the dead branches, the BS, have freed myself. I can choose. And I will choose wisely, always keeping my long term objectives top of mind, not distracted by short term tactical concerns or a need to please others.

I wake up every morning with a calm clear mind and sense of well being I have never experienced in my entire life.  I'm cool with just being me.  I have nothing to prove to anyone, and there is nothing about me that needs fixing.  I'm just....Steve.