Tunes:
- Toughest year in recent memory
- Work is fucked up
- Setting up my next career move
- Loss of a friend
- Broken bones
- Bought another house
- The grandkids
- Still not drinking!
Toughest year in recent memory
Not every year of sobriety gets to be a victory lap. This is one of those years.
For starters, I still have a job, can pay my bills, am in reasonably good health, and generally have much to be thankful for. And, of course, I'm stone-cold sober.
That said, it's been a tough year, mainly because work has been tough. And I got hurt a lot doing sports stuff.
The ground beneath me feels unstable for the first time in a long time. I am a little worried.
Work is fucked up
I came out of last year on a high. I was performing well at my job, and things were going great. I was planning on using the momentum to do great things this year. Then I got hassled over a 135-dollar hotel bill (which has never happened in my professional life!), and 2,100 of my co-workers were laid off with no warning, instantly doubling the scope of my job responsibilities.
I think even worse, the nature of the reorganization resulted in some of my co-workers being incentivized to work against each other instead of with each other. It sucks when your partners are incentivized to make you look bad to protect themselves. Besides the hard feelings, everyone's productivity tanks, and you get a downward spiral.
It's been, gosh, about a dozen years since I've dreaded Monday mornings. But here we are.
The person responsible for this mess has moved on, offering a glimmer of optimism. But will the mess get cleaned up, and will people be incentivized to work together? There's no answer to that yet.
Setting up my next career move
I'm 53 now, about a decade from retirement. So, it's time to start fleshing out my next act. Moving into content creation is where I want to evolve. It'll allow me to keep my mind active while being able to control my schedule and workload. I'm working on a book that is now six months past due, and a video course also running behind schedule. So, objectively, it's not off to an optimal start.
But I'm putting the work in, and my skills are improving. Maybe it's not happening as fast as I want, but it is happening. I'm curious to see where things stand a year from now.
Loss of a friend
Less than two weeks ago I got the news that my friend Nick died. He was only 38 years old. It hit me so hard. It was a crushing blow that caught me completely off guard. I still find myself randomly crying as a wave of grief hits me. What's crazy about it is we hung out in person less than half a dozen times, and it turns out there were hundreds of people who had the exact same experience!
I've talked to many people and read many stories about Nick since then, and I've realized I didn't understand him as well as I thought I did; what made him so extraordinary. I thought it was his intellect, work ethic, and spartan mentality. I discovered that many others were also secretly envious of how he could produce such a large body of high-quality work in such a brief time.
So, why did his loss hit so many people so hard? It's because as frugal as he was, as much as he denied himself creature comforts and extravagance, he was extraordinarily generous with his time and ideas. I think my friend Matt put it best:
[...]as countless people's loving remembrances of Nick have come pouring in, it's become clear that Nick had many friends like me. But I expect each of us only had one friend like Nick
Thanks, Nick. Fair winds and following seas.
Broken Bones
In July, I was riding my gravel bike over a freshly graded gravel road that was steep, winding, and dangerous. I had ridden it so many times I became complacent. The grader covered over the true texture of the road, making it apear smooth and even. While my mind was wandering, I hit a soft spot and got pitched off the bike at an awkward angle.
Result: broken helmet, 5-day concussion, left hip fractured in two places. I was unable to walk for six weeks, and it was about 12 before I was somewhat back to normal.
A good thing about it was that yoga was the only productive form of exercise available to me for a while, and I embraced it. When snowboarding season came around, I had the kind of hip mobility and core body strength I could only have dreamed of a year prior, and it was hugely beneficial.
Then, in January, I got a little careless and greedy snowboarding, lapping on my favorite run at Sugar Mountain and shattered my right wrist. I got a titanium plate and some screws for my trouble. It was tough sitting yet another block of time out with an injury.
I recovered in time to get a few days in on the mountain before the end of the season, and I'm grateful for that. I **may** have snuck in a few days before I was technically cleared to ride.
Of course, I asked myself if there was a common thread, something I needed to change. Was it due to getting old and frail? I think the net of it is I've become more confident, less averse to taking risks, and my eyesight is not real great. Combine them, and you've got some painful injuries. I've resolved to fight complacency and that if I can't read the surface texture clearly, I will slow down even if I don't want to.
Bought another house
We bought yet another home. This a small custom builder home. It's really neat. We probably overpaid a little, but that was in exchange for some creative financing to get the deal done. I'm definitely putting this one in the W column. This will be the last one for some time, interest rates being what they are.
The Grandkids
The parents have (shockingly) started to put their lives in order, separately and in different states. The main issue at this point is they want to cherry-pick their involvement and not do any of the hard stuff, like, you know, food, clothing, shelter, medical bills, teaching them basic life skills, self-discipline, etc. I resent it and feel used. Luckily, my wife is pretty good with this kind of stuff, and I'm relying on her to help us navigate it. We want their parents to start taking on some responsibility, and they can't have it both ways. We are not their bitches - that's my bottom line.
Still not drinking
Real talk: if I was still drinking, all of my challenges would be magnified.
In sobriety, I have the ability to get up every morning and do what needs to be done, facing life head-on. Eventually, things will get better.
In sobriety, I'm not sticking my head in the sand and hoping it will all go away, which, of course, it will not!
May you care for yourself with ease.
-s
